u like to watch, don't u? said the Blue Light Special as he modeled yet another bathing suit from his bag of tricks . . . would u like to have a threesome and watch me fuck somebody else?

this wasn't exactly what i wanted to hear less than a month into our relationship or whatever we're having . . . Thug Lover says we're fuck buddies . . . he's probably right although i never imagined a fuck buddy who stayed over three or four nights a week . . . the Blue Light Special recognizes that my feelings run a little deeper . . . returning from Pavonia Newport he told me that the last guy to cause serious tension between him and Thug Lover was schnell verlieber, or quick to fall in love . . . was he teasing or warning me?

but hey, i want this to work . . . even if a threesome involving a guy as desirable as the Blue Light Special is likely to do A-bomb damage to my ego maybe i can minimize the fallout by arranging it with someone who finds me attractive on my own . . . and who better than JockinNYCLA1 who never fails to IM me? . . . in one of our chats, he told me that he fantasized about being fucked by a tag team.

the Blue Light Special signed off on his pic and profile Monday morning when we got up . . . half an hour later JockinNYCLA1 rang the buzzer . . . it's cold out there he said as he rushed through the door . . . that's why i look so red. can i use your bathroom a minute? . . . the Blue Light Special gave me a disappointed look and shook his head but i wasn't prepared to send the guy home just yet.

JockinNYCLA1 was smart enough to start sucking both our dicks as soon as he emerged from the bathroom . . . by not playing favorites he extended his welcome briefly . . . we moved into the bedroom where he removed his clothes and revealed a hairy body as red as his face and gone to seed . . . so now, standing before me, i have a man with whom i've been having the best sex of my life and somebody who i wouldn't look at twice on the street . . . imagine the contrast between Brad Pitt in sexy white box cut briefs and Jon Lovitz naked and u will get the picture.

the awkward encounter ended when the Blue Light Special excused himself to go to the bathroom . . . guess your buddy just isn't into it said JockinNYCLA1 . . . no, i guess he's not . . . he could tell from my limp dick that i wasn't either . . . no problem he said . . . just let me use the bathroom again . . . what's going on in the bathroom, dude?

he wasn't like his picture said the Blue Light Special . . . actually, the difference between JockinNYCLA1 and his pic wasn't much greater than most AOL hook ups but the Blue Light Special didn't have any basis for comparison . . . i was less inclined to blame the failure on the guy than the situation . . . i only did this because i thought u wanted to i said . . . well of course i did but not with him.

a change in tactic was necessary . . . if we're going to cruise online together u are going to need some body pictures i said . . . i spent the next couple of hours caressing the Blue Light Special with my digital camera . . . as the winter sun poured through my Levelor blinds he gave me every look he had against the wall and on the sheets . . . i was careful not to include his face in any of the X pics but he grabbed the camera to record the blowjob i gave him in the reflection of my Gary Numan poster . . . are u my fluffer? he teased before adding i've never let anyone photograph me like this.

we looked at the pics on the camera's LCD screen before he left for class . . . these are the real u i said pointing to the images in which he was smiling mischievously . . . none of the pictures u showed me the other night captured your boyishness . . . he preferred the ones that made him look tough.

before going to sleep that night, i slowly reviewed the pics one more time with all the lights turned off . . . every bright image felt like a kiss that would last forever.