reader, is the chase coming to an end? does rapture really have a roommate in Jersey City? will it be appearing as an adorable elf in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade parade?

god knows i'm no stranger to a great blow job but few have rocked my world as much as the one i got Sunday night from a pretty boy whose unlubricated, rock hard butt pleaded for me to use something bigger than three of my fingers to explore it while i used my other hand to shove his head down harder and harder onto my cock . . . i'm sorry i must go now he apologized as i sat there, utterly sated, thinking how can will i ever be able to give up the Ramble? . . . and this was even before he added, with a slight German accent, ve could meet up later.

my instincts told me it would be okay to tell him i was listed in the phone book, just as they told me not to bring home the Lonely Surfer . . . my instincts also told me he would call but when he walked through my door with a shy smile on his face a couple of hours later i still had to pinch myself . . . hard . . . twice.

i hadn't noticed the Abercrombie & Fitch hooded sweatshirt in the Park but his tight, well proportioned body, ice blue eyes, chalk white teeth and full pink lips added up to the kind of boyish masculinity that Bruce Weber has used to define the brand . . . i left a screening early he explained, adding that he was an actor studying at the HB Studio . . . i could not sit through a movie about a paralyzed man who vants to die . . . normally this kind of statement would indicate an insurmountable divergence in taste but i had seen a preview of The Sea Inside and had to admit that euthanasia might very well be a mood killer when U are horny.

we talked briefly about his career and life in New York before moving into the bedroom, where candles were already burning for the first time in many years . . . the night just kept getting better and better . . . we kissed so long, hard and often over the next five hours that my chin has whisker burn . . . our physical chemistry overruled the creed of nevers that have afforded so much emotional and physical protection since Streisand blew me away with "Never, Never Will I Marry" on her third album . . . never will i be tempted to say i love u again . . . never will i allow myself to be penetrated anally without a condom . . . never will i get involved with someone who appears to depend on the kindness of older strangers.

he laughed when i called him my Blue Light Special . . . it combines a literal translation of his last name and a phrase from the American merchandising lexicon with which he is blissfully unfamiliar . . . not that there was anything tacky about him.

even if i never see u again i want u to know that this has been one of the best nights of my life . . . i have never been more sincere.

was it his brand new bottle of poppers? . . . was it the way he simply repeated u as his eyes bored into mine? . . . was it because he didn't seem to mind that i couldn't keep it up as long as he could? . . . was it the way he kept insisting he had to go but never left? . . . was it the demure looks he gave me in between spoonfuls of his Wheaties in the morning? . . . was it because he brought my paper upstairs after we said goodbye Monday afternoon? . . . or was it because he called me as soon as he got home?

even if i don't have the answers, at least these besotted questions let me know i still believe in the possibility of rapture, however elusive.

but have U ever noticed how people frequently criticize others for their own shortcomings? . . . when we were discussing Bad Education last night on the phone, my Blue Light Special explained when young Ignacio's face split in two, it represented his fall from grace because he understood for the first time how he could use his sexual power to make people do what he wanted . . . silly me, i thought it symbolized how a sweet kid had lost his innocence to a pedophile priest.

so now i have only one question: what, exactly, is the Blue Light Special going to cost me when i return from Copenhagen next week?

damn U Pedro Almodovar!