did U ever hear of the Tom Robinson Band? . . . in the late 70s, he sang about toilet sex in Can't Keep Away: Darlington station at a quarter to four/down in the tearoom watching the wall/wait till forever for the boy next door/daylight fading and i'm hating it all/can't keep away - i can't keep away/can't keep away - I keep coming on back for more.

these lyrics were going through my head late Thursday afternoon as i sat on my favorite bench in the Ramble, this time with my new wallet, Mastercard, ATM card, temporary driver's license, etc. all safely at home . . . i barely had pulled the Circuits section of the Times out of my backpack before a tall, graceful black guy in camouflage pants began cruising me aggressively . . . when i put down the paper to indicate my interest, he lifted his shirt to play with his erect nipples . . . Hot to Trot couldn't wait to go down on me as the sun began descending over the Hudson . . . any lingering reservations i had about my compulsive behavior vanished as i played with his eager butthole.

an older black fellow with big arms walking up the hill caught a glimpse of us before we had time to stop . . . when he sat down at the end of the bench and pulled out a cellphone from one of his pockets, a small item fell beneath the bench . . . he didn't seem to notice and the sexual tension discouraged me from saying anything as he began to roll some tobacco or marijuana . . . i hoped Hot to Trot would carry on but he didn't, not until another arrival with slicked back hair sat down on his other side . . . when he lit up a cigarette, i noticed the white patches on his hand and around his mouth but vitiligo doesn't detract much from your appeal when U are in your 20s . . . at least not until U expose your genitals but his condition, even more apparent on his cock and balls, didn't deter Hot to Trot who happily went from my dick to his and back again . . . now if vitiligo were contagious wouldn't we have seen evidence of it by now on Macauley Culkin?

Big Black Arms didn't stick around for anybody's money shot, tho it didn't take very long for Hot to Trot to bring both White and Whiter to orgasm . . . Vitiligo quickly left us alone . . . Hot to Trot got up, walked to the far end of the bench and reached down to pick something up from the ground before asking do u come here a lot? . . . he told me he was on a break from the Ballet National de Nancy et de Lorraine and wanted to know what i did for a living . . . i've been involved in the addiction field for nearly 15 years i said but i'm not addicted to anything except sex . . . he nodded in recognition . . . i don't know if it's me or my family or what but i have got to have it all the time. i like white guys with nice cocks who can come a lot.

we started talking about A Dirty Shame, the utterly stupid John Waters movie he already had seen twice, with Hot to Trot facing me on the bench . . . around this time Big Black Arms returned with another guy and briefly looked around as if he had lost something . . . didn't u pick up something from the ground there earlier? i whispered . . . Hot to Trot shook his head no and asked do they really say "progress not perfection" in Sexual Compulsives Anonymous meetings?

the loss of my wallet Sunday night and my suspicions about the Lonely Surfer rushed back in the face of Hot to Trot's denial but the association took an even stranger turn when i decided to stick around for round two . . . cue up The Twilight Zone theme: Hot to Trot mentioned he would be returning home to Antigua for the holidays . . . i couldn't believe that within a week's time i would experience property loss as both a victim and a witness in the company of two fellow sex addicts from Antigua while sitting on the same park bench in the Ramble . . . am i supposed to draw some kind of cosmic lesson from this coincidence?

lie down with dogs come up with fleas is about all i can come up with today . . . and who knew that Tom Robinson had fallen in love with a woman, gotten married and had a child?. . . maybe he's managing to stay away after all.